Caregiving For All:  January 26, 2023, Del Larson, Certified Lay Minister

Lots going on in my caregiver journey.  Besides my wife and her needs, my lay ministry role has taken me on a few visits in the past couple of weeks. Every situation is different, as is for each of you.  How your care receiver reacts to you, or their care, can be a major source of frustration.  How we handle those moments is very important not only for the patient but for ourselves.  I believe my biggest frustrations come from agencies that I must deal with as a caregiver.  Issues range from losing personal items at the nursing home to communications with staff and support agencies.  It seems keeping me updated and informed is not a high priority anymore. Their response is “We are short-handed and it is difficult to find new people.” I understand.  The world is a different place compared to pre-Covid.  My opinion, and from what I have heard, is that many younger workers generally do not have the same work ethic that we grew up with years ago.  I do not like to be forceful, because generally, everyone does better when we stay positive.  However, there are times when we need to go to higher levels to get things done.  I first recommend that you seek the highest power available by praying for guidance.  Let that be your guide.  Jesus was angry a few times and even threw a few tables.  Share your concerns, but always end with a way of reconciliation.  If people fear you and are always on the defensive, there will be more problems because of fear.  I try to thank the staff as often as I remember.  Show that appreciation. I buy big bags of miniature candy and share some with staff in the different places that have caregivers, including medical facilities. Some days you may need immediate help from them.  Please do not think that I am a cool cat that lets everything roll over me like water.  I have my moments. Once, I took my granddaughter (and her mother) to the ER for the third time in less than 24 hours.  She was a very sick toddler.  When they did not see her immediately, I became very angry that they kept sending her home.  I was escorted to patient services by security to file a complaint. By the time I finished, she was in an ER room.  As I sat there waiting for tests to come back, I got thinking about what had happened, and it made me very sad.  I walked out to the triage desk and asked to speak with the charge nurse.  The 5’6″ 120-pound nurse came out in the hall and I apologized, but she let into me and knocked me down from 6’0″ to about 13″.  I deserved all of it.  That is when I decided it is better to build people up and be thankful even before I am cared for or served. I started my candy treats then.  I am sorry this got a little long, but I hope you find value in my mistake that helps you avoid the same situation.  God is working on me to be humble.

My post entitled Helpful Resources is filled with links that focus on the caregivers’ well-being. If you have any certain issues, you need help with, please let me know.  Remember, I am not a professionally certified caregiving authority.  My certification comes from God.

Lastly, I have hesitated to share information on dying and death.  Each person handles it differently.  If you would like information on this please let me know and I will share it with you.  I learned it the hard way at the time of death back in the late 90s.

I appreciate hearing from you.  Positive or negative. My email is attached, or you can call the church and they will give you my number.

Feel free to respond, ask questions, or tell me what you think.

I hope that you can find one thing that will be helpful to you.  Email: